Not so peachy!

Life at the moment should be wonderful. I just had my second son who is just adorable. I love my sons more than anything in this world and I couldn't live without them. Ashton is so smiley now and every smile melts my heart. Zack just makes me laugh throughout the day, he is such a character, I don't know what I am going to do with him LOL. I just love them soooo much. But if I am going to be truthful life isn't that great, besides my children.

James and I are back together after being separated for 5 months which included the last 4 months of my pregnany and the birth of Ashton. . The hardest 5 months of my life so far, by far. I don't want to go into why we separated right now, I will just say some not so nice things happened that made me leave to my wonderful parents with Zack. I don't know how I feel about it all I am still so bloody angry with him and I know I will never forgive him I need to work out weather I can forget and move on. I need to work out weather James is worth putting up with Beth (my MIL) because she is who has caused alot of our troubles and I truely feel she is trying to separate us. She has successfully done it with her other son so I do think now that I am back with James she is going to up the shit.

Its hard I don't know what to say.

- I wish my life was like it was before.- No I don't I was unhappy with things then, but now I am still not happy. So how do I get happy? Thats the question I wish I could answer. Any idea's?