Christmas :-(

I usually love Christmas! Ever since having to bring the inlaws into Christmas it hasn't been the same but still good. I always knew I could get through it. This year I am sooooo not looking forward to it, not one little bit and to tell you the truth it is depressing me. As it creeps closer and closer and am getting more unhappy. We always get to see both sides of the family.

The inlaws always open presents from each other the night before so I really don't see why I should miss out on opening presents with my family EVA, I mean he doesn't. I have had the majority of the day with his family 3 times now and every time it has been hell. The MIL goes even more evil (surprises me that, that can even happen). First year she was fighting with SIL, 2nd year BIL and last year DH (although it was all my fault which was bull bc I was trying to keep the peace).

Last year we took Zack 20mins away at 9pm(after his bedtime mind you) so he could be there to open the presents with them, to keep them happy. We asked that they go to church in our home town (the church MIL attends every week mind you) bc it is on earlier, which would mean we could go open presents earlier, so he could get to bed and not be overtired. BUT no bc SIL (whom might I add doesn't have children) doesn't want to go to that one. Anyway we turn up and they have already opened all the presents without us (church didn't go as long as they thought). James was so angry and upset that they didn't wait for Zack. I try to tell him our children are nothing to them all the time he just won't listen. So the next morning there is phone calls and James is adamant we are not going. We end up going bc my mum said she thinks we should and we don't get spoken to by anyone bar BIL and his then wife the whole time we are there.

This year the only one that talks to me won't be there bc BIL and her have separate and the thought of EVER going to anything with them now upsets me. I am meant to sit by myself now.

I just want to run away and have Christmas with my kids this year but I don't know if I can handle not being with my family. I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!

Ideal other half

Well last entry I mentioned fan fiction and for those who don't know what it is it is a site that allows people to write there own stories. Alot of people use characters out of others stories (such as twilight) and have there own plot. Some of the writers are so talented and really I love reading about Edward Cullen.

Edward is my ideal other half, I would be one happy lady to have a man like Edward. I dream about Edward coming to sweep me off my feet. Yes he is a fictional character and yes he is a vampire but he is so right, kind, caring and all those things you want in a man. Maybe a little obsessive but everyone has to have a negative right. And no I am not saying Robert Patterson because to tell you the truth he totally p!sses me off while acting, he does in twilight and the other day I watched Remember Me and he did in that too.

Poor James really doesn't have a chance while i am comparing him to a fictional character does he!

Life on replay!

Feels like my life is on replay, same thing day in day out. Get up, clean the same thing over and over and over again. I need some variety in my life.

I suppose yesterday was a but different we went down the street and Zack had a meltdown. I was so embarrassed and cranky with him bc it was over nothing. I even had people coming up to see if I was alright bc I had a tanting 2.8 year old swinging off one arm and a 3 month old under the other.

Today I decided I need a hobby (that isn't the wonderful world of fan fiction lol I do spend too much time reading about Edward Cullen, I really am quite sick :-)). So I am on look for a kid friendly hobby. I kinda wish I could sew I like looking at things people make. As soon as Ash is old enough I think I am going to start a sign language class it is something I have always wanted to do. Plus I never do anything for myself anymore.