Proud moment

I am one proud mummy right now. FINALLY and yes I mean FINALLY Zack has gone to sleep of a night without anyone in with him. Its been 2 nights now. I hope it continues, it makes it so much easier.

The first night I was in with him for a couple of minutes, but Ashton started crying and he didn't want me to wake James up to go in with me. He promised me he would stay in bed, and he did.

The second night james went to go in and he got into trouble. He got his dinosaurs and his teddys and he was going to sleep by himself :-)

A new car

I have wanted a new car since.....well feels like forever but really its been 5-6 years. We have sold my little uni car, James got a ute for work (he was driving my car and I had his car with the kids). I hate his car. Its a rodeo twin cab and while it has lots of room in the back for all the kids stuff, its rough as hell in the back for the kids and its manual which I hate, oh and it is a bit of a dud of a car and has been since we bought it new.

Anyway I have been asking and looking for a car for years, first James said when you get a job, I got a part time then full time and still no car. You see he wants a Prado, I would love a prado BUT it is so out of our price range even second hand. I try to talk him into something we can afford and he won't budge.

Yesterday on our way out o town we drive past a Prado. We decide to pull over and see how much they have on it. I tell James want to bed $38 000- $45 000 and he goes if so it is ours. I thought ok yeah with what money haha. As we pull up the owner who we know (friends brother) came out and told us he was after $30000 for it. Now there isn't a scratch on it and is very well looked after. I think oh I wish but we are like $10000 short still James why do you insist on wishing and hoping on something we can't afford. James is very excited.

The story goes on...James says dad almost bought me a new ute on Thursday for $10000 at an auction, maybe they will lend us the money and we can pay them back. He said especially for a car for you dad would prob lend it (bc he loves me LOL). THEN I have to think hmmmm as much as I would LOVE a new car do I want the whole we own the car (even though they will only own a1/3 of it). Beth really wants to control us I don't know if I want to give her a chance to have something over us. She wants to keep our car and get rid of an older car they have.

BUT I want to try for our next baby and we need a car that can fit 3 car seats across the back and our current car doesn't, but like I keep telling James why cant we just get a car we can afford.

When will he think of his son before his mummy???

The family you chose to have, the day you married me and had our kids. We should now be your no.1 not your mummy and brother!!!

James wants Zack to go down to his mothers on Tuesday's that I work. All fine (beside I still think she is a child abuser and I don't want my kids anywhere near her) but she can't get him to sleep and it is the day before pre-school so he NEEDS his sleep, which James understands. So James wants him to go down and see if she can get him to sleep. I know she can't her saying "you show nanny how you are a good boy and go to sleep" doesn't work. I have trouble getting him to sleep after he has been down there because she insists on giving him b!oody poppers that send him high as a kite, there is something in them. I have asked James since he was little to ask her not to give them to him but no can't upset mummy. I say to James she won't tell us the truth about him having a sleep or not and he says we will know. So he knows they lie to us about him all the time.

I don't know how he expects me to take Ashton to my aunty to play with her little girl who is Zacks world and say no sorry you can't stay here you have to go to nans and be bored down there. He never wants to go down there any other time, James still plays the do you want to come for a drive with dad, when he asks where he says surprise because he knows he will say no if he says nans. Zack asks me to go down there so I can play with him when he has to go down there as it is, hense why they don't like me down there because he wants me and not them. If he says no I want to stay at my aunties I won't be taking him down there.

I wish he would think of Zack, he know he needs his sleep the day before he goes to preschool but mummy always comes first. It sickens me.

What it is like to sleep at night

Someone bought this http://www.amberdusick.com/woodmouse_loves_crafts/2011/06/what-it-is-like-to-not-sleep-at-night-illustrated-with-crappy-pictures.html to my attention and she is so clever.

It could be me writing it, it really could. I suspect many mother could write it though.

It pisses me so much when James says to me in the mornings when I say I have had 3 hours sleep leave me alone you are not getting any, and he says, well why didn't you wake me? For the record even when I do wake him he usually mumbles some weird crap (like he hasn't loaded the hay yet????? I have no idea dreaming about work I suppose) and then rolls over and goes back to sleep. PLUS the kids just go off if it isn't me. I don't think it is worth Zack screaming because he wants me and waking Ashton up. The last thing I want is 2 kids screaming for me at all hours of the night, so its not worth it!!!

Take a look it gave me a laugh!

We all survived first day back.

So we all survived my first day back at work. I am exhausted as Ashton decided to have a terrible night and let me sleep like 4 hours. Thanks for that Ash! I actually had a good day enjoyed it. Ashton survived being away from me which I knew he would. He had much shorter sleeps and is soooooo clingy now, it kinda makes you think is it worth it, but I suppose the money will be.

Zack's first Disco

Yesterday was Zacks first ever disco. It was put on by the preschool, before the primary schools one. Zack has never been much one for the dancing. Never liked hi5 or the wiggles. He asked his pop to come with him and his pop got him dancing for a little bit.  It only went for 45minutes but after 30 minutes all he wanted to do was sit down and watch. Ash on the other hand is a little boogier and bopped along to the music the whole time, even though he was tired. It was very cute watching all the little ones dance.

Dancing with his cousin

Ash getting his groove on

Freezing!

Gee its cold thismorning! I am freezing. I wish this house had better heating. We have gas heating which is better then what we use to have but not my mum and dads fire that I grew up with. Their house is always so warm and toasty. I wish we had money to put ducted, reverse cycle airconditioning, so the whole house can be warm in winter and cold in summer. Instead of just the living area. It would be lovely to have the bedrooms warm and toasty too.

Back to work

Tomorrow I am having a meeting with my old boss so she can tell me what I need to do for the 5 weeks I will be working for her. I am excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. The thought of leaving Ashton is terrifying, I hope he copes ok! I hope he doesn't become to clingy or cry for me the whole time I am gone. I would feel terrible for Ashton and mum and my aunty who are looking after the boys for me.

I am excited to get some adult conversation (even though I am going to teach kids LOL). I miss my old work mates and it will be so good to catch up with them. It will be good to be out of the house for a little while doing something for me. The extra money will also be very good.

I am scared that I will have trouble coping as Ashton still isn't sleeping well (we were up every 30 minutes to an hour last night, but that was a really bad night). That I can't keep up with working and keeping the house clean and of course looking after the kids. James says he will help but truthfully he doesn't know how to and he won't (well maybe he does know how to jut doesn't).

After the long weekend I start fingers crossed it will go smoothly. At least it is for only 5 weeks.

Why Lie???

I don't get it why lie about things? MIL tells us so many things that both James and I don't believe and know she is lying about after Zack has been down there. Oh he is never naughty down here, he is no problems at all, but then they tell us something to completely show that he was naughty and done something he shouldn't have, like push his cousin or swearing.

The best one is that he always eats lots when down there especially his veges. HAHAHAHA!!! Tonight we got told he ate a huge plate of veges and some meat, but when he gets home he brings me some ham and asks for some, I give him a plate full, he eats it all then he asks me for some spaghetti and chips. For a child that didn't stop eating sure had a big meal when he got home. Especially since when I use to go down there he would NEVER eat any of the food MIL cooked for him, he just didn't like it, especially the veges.

Going to see "Walking with the Dinosaurs"

Yesterday James, Zack, Ashton and I went to see Walking with the dinosaurs. Fantastic, awesome, unreal are a few words that come to mind. I loved it and so did the boys. I don't think Ashton has ever sat still for so long. He even started roaring back at them at one stage which was very cute.

Zack loved every bit of it and asked question after question, watching intently for what is going to happen next. The dinosaurs were so real looking. I was a naughty girl and took lots of photos even though they asked us not to, but I don't think anyone listened because there was alot of people taking them. So here for the photo overload.

Waiting for the show to start with his popcorn.