Saturday, October 30, 2010

Why is it so hard to say NO!!!

Why can't he say no to his brother? Really its not that hard, yes he may get the shits with you but he will soon get over it because soon he will want something else from you. You come home so pissed off that he has been mucking around and not doing what he wants help with and you have your own things to do, well say NO!!!!

He has promised me to get some jobs around the house done this weekend including the painting of Ashtons room which we took everything out of last weekend to paint but you had to go off with him to do something so i have furniture all over the house for a week, while the painting is still waiting to be done. Not even counting the door being fixed to keep your son inside and safe, cupboards fixed, lawn mowed so our son can play outside. But what brother wants brother gets we have always come after brother, bloody hell he puts his needs after his brother. PRIORITIES FOR GOD SAKE......tell him where to go he wouldn't do anything for you and you know it!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Our Anniversary today

Today we have been married 4 years! We have had many good times in that four years. The birth of Zack and Ashton the best!

We didn't do anything special and I was disappointed. I was secretly hoping that he tried to do something a little special this year since the trouble we have been having. He didn't! I got him a card no present this year as I give him something every year and get nothing in return. Just like this year really.

He left at 3am driving the damn truck and didn't come home till 5.30pm although he got back from driving at 3pm he stayed at his parents. Pissed me sooooo much, he says he was working. Sorry no one does 14 hours for a shitty $200 and thats if they even pay him at all. He has done so much work for his parents for nothing. How are we ment to live with no money.

I shouldn't be posting this in the mood I am in I am to tired and emotional so I am going to come back later and write about our wedding when I feel better.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Questioning Questioning

What a weekend. James went out not once but twice during the long weekend. It upsets me since alcohol is almost what broke us up in the first place. Well after the weekend it has me questioning whether I did the right thing in giving it another go. Is it bad that sometimes I think I am back for the kids. I question myself all the time when I am angry at James if I am here until my kids are old enough to not be so messed around. My biggest fear is my children spending to much time with MIL and thats what will happen if we separate/divorce. She talks badly about my SIL and SIL parents to her other sons kids and that is just not on in my opinion.

The whole time he is gone I am terrified. He promises nothing will ever happen again and I think its bullshit. He would have never hurt me in the first place if it wasn't for alcohol and he continues too. So he can't guarantee that with alcohol in his system he won't hurt me. Sunday night he came home pissed as. I have to tip toe around him being careful not to say anything that may upset him. Ok yes he never hit me but what he did was wrong!

Then I have to be all nice to his family when he won't even attempt to fix things with mine when it was him that did the wrong thing with them. Oh I am one pissed off women. Sometimes I think I would be much better off without him.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Some me time

This morning James has taken Zack to his mother. Yes I would rather him take him anywhere else in the world but its been nice to have some me time, even if it is still with Ashton and he has decided he is not going to sleep.

I did some cleaning while Ash was sleeping then decided I will order a movie and watch it without Zack's interruption. I was going to order Remember me but looks like that finished yesterday, that would be right. So I decided to order The last Song. I watched the whole 10 minutes before Ash woke up but he just had a feed and snoozed so it wasn't a problem.

If you haven't seen it I would recommend it. Quiet sad, I had some tears! Oh and a added bonus, Liam Hemsworth is in it, at times with no shirt! Maybe not to everyones taste but I think he is a bit of all right. I have never seen him before but I haven't watched many movies lately either.

Suspicion correct!

Yes once again it was another jump to conclusion of the worse possible thing. She doesn't have a brain Aneurysm at all they suspect it is just migraines. Yes Migraines are bad and all but they are hardly a brain aneurysm, just a little bit different. This drives me sooooooo mad!

Oh well its good news I am glad she is ok!