First day at preschool

Today my baby went off to preschool. He was sooooo excited. Last night we both packed his lunch he had to open and shut his lunch box and bad several times, it was so cute.

Today we went off to school, his cousin who was going to be there was sick so I didn't know how he was going to react because we had told him we will be meeting her there. In the end he didn't even ask about her. We went in, he tried to write his name, we put his lunch and water bottle in the fridge, he got some sunscreen put on and off he went with the teacher. I paid and went looking for him. He was happily playing in the sandpit. He came and gave me a kiss goodbye and went back to playing.

The day has been so quiet without him. I know he will be having a ball over there. I can't wait to go get him in an hour to see how his first day of school went.

Busy life

Life is busy with an almost 3 year old and a 6 month old, I don't get much time to myself and find myself staying up late when I FINALLY get Ashton to bed just to have some me time. So then I get tired as ASh just isn't sleeping very well, like last night it started the with waking every hour or so aarrgghhh.

James is pushing me to go back to work, are we desperate for money NO, he is worried bc he doesn't have much work, well he can get out and find a job that has a weekly income. Its not like he is going to help me with the housework, cooking and get up at night. I can't look after 2 kids, work and keep the house clean at the moment.

If I had 1 or 2 set days I would be back at work but I can't go getting a phone call at 7.30am asking me to be at work at 8.30 an 30minute drive away like I use to do. Its just not possible plus I need someone to look after the kids and daycare don't keep a spot incase you will need it they expect you to pay.

Casual work just is not possible with kids, get it James!!

No more

Zack has always been an easy going boy when we go somewhere (my aunties, swimming lessons or playgroup etc) he always tells people (mum and dad etc) what he did, jumping up and down very excited. BUT when he goes down to MIL and FIL he won't tell anyone a thing not even me or his father, he just ignores us or changes the subject. Even after much prompting like did you go on the tractor he won't say a thing.

Some times when James is going to take him down to M&FIL he says he doesn't want to go, so James plays the whole ok I will go without you and walks out the door and he continues playing happily. James comes in and takes him anyway. He asks alot if I am going down but I try to stay away as much as possible and I use to go down before and they got the shits bc I was watching them and they wanted time alone with him. As we have had our differences namely on the abuse she gives James and was to Zack to calling him names. Which has ment to stop now so James says, BUT.....there has to be some reason he doesn't want to go down there!

I have thought alot about this since last time it happened and next time he says he doesn't want to go I am telling James well he doesn't have to go. There has to be a reason for this behaviour and I think me making him go is only loosing his trust in me, he it trying to communicate something to me and I need to listen to him. This is surely going to cause arguments between James and I but he has to stop putting his mummy first and think of our child and think yes that is unlike Zack not to want to go somewhere something must be going on. Ha the chances of that are slim but to bad, no more.

Maybe just a little overboard :-)

I was wrapping the boys Christmas presents yesterday and WOW maybe I just went just a little overboard! Each boy has a LARGE garbage bag full and thats not including the one each from mum and dad, and the one from each other. Oh and not to forget the trampoline!!! I didn't realise I had so much. Just as well it only happens once a year. I haven't bought them home yet, James just might have a heart attack LOL.

Christmas :-(

I usually love Christmas! Ever since having to bring the inlaws into Christmas it hasn't been the same but still good. I always knew I could get through it. This year I am sooooo not looking forward to it, not one little bit and to tell you the truth it is depressing me. As it creeps closer and closer and am getting more unhappy. We always get to see both sides of the family.

The inlaws always open presents from each other the night before so I really don't see why I should miss out on opening presents with my family EVA, I mean he doesn't. I have had the majority of the day with his family 3 times now and every time it has been hell. The MIL goes even more evil (surprises me that, that can even happen). First year she was fighting with SIL, 2nd year BIL and last year DH (although it was all my fault which was bull bc I was trying to keep the peace).

Last year we took Zack 20mins away at 9pm(after his bedtime mind you) so he could be there to open the presents with them, to keep them happy. We asked that they go to church in our home town (the church MIL attends every week mind you) bc it is on earlier, which would mean we could go open presents earlier, so he could get to bed and not be overtired. BUT no bc SIL (whom might I add doesn't have children) doesn't want to go to that one. Anyway we turn up and they have already opened all the presents without us (church didn't go as long as they thought). James was so angry and upset that they didn't wait for Zack. I try to tell him our children are nothing to them all the time he just won't listen. So the next morning there is phone calls and James is adamant we are not going. We end up going bc my mum said she thinks we should and we don't get spoken to by anyone bar BIL and his then wife the whole time we are there.

This year the only one that talks to me won't be there bc BIL and her have separate and the thought of EVER going to anything with them now upsets me. I am meant to sit by myself now.

I just want to run away and have Christmas with my kids this year but I don't know if I can handle not being with my family. I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!

Ideal other half

Well last entry I mentioned fan fiction and for those who don't know what it is it is a site that allows people to write there own stories. Alot of people use characters out of others stories (such as twilight) and have there own plot. Some of the writers are so talented and really I love reading about Edward Cullen.

Edward is my ideal other half, I would be one happy lady to have a man like Edward. I dream about Edward coming to sweep me off my feet. Yes he is a fictional character and yes he is a vampire but he is so right, kind, caring and all those things you want in a man. Maybe a little obsessive but everyone has to have a negative right. And no I am not saying Robert Patterson because to tell you the truth he totally p!sses me off while acting, he does in twilight and the other day I watched Remember Me and he did in that too.

Poor James really doesn't have a chance while i am comparing him to a fictional character does he!

Life on replay!

Feels like my life is on replay, same thing day in day out. Get up, clean the same thing over and over and over again. I need some variety in my life.

I suppose yesterday was a but different we went down the street and Zack had a meltdown. I was so embarrassed and cranky with him bc it was over nothing. I even had people coming up to see if I was alright bc I had a tanting 2.8 year old swinging off one arm and a 3 month old under the other.

Today I decided I need a hobby (that isn't the wonderful world of fan fiction lol I do spend too much time reading about Edward Cullen, I really am quite sick :-)). So I am on look for a kid friendly hobby. I kinda wish I could sew I like looking at things people make. As soon as Ash is old enough I think I am going to start a sign language class it is something I have always wanted to do. Plus I never do anything for myself anymore.